No talking mommy

This is all I hear lately. "No talking mommy!" So, I guess mom can never have another adult conversation again. Unless she has a minute in which she is away from you and baby Bastian boy. Which is a very funny thought.

Luthien, I realized tonight during a mini-breakdown that I don't want a minute away from you. Even with all this madness that is happening right now. I don't want one! I can't believe the things I am learning about children lately. It's helping me as a mom, it's helping me as a woman, as an individual, and as a speech-language pathologist whenever I do go back to work. I never thought that I, of all people could become creative, but I realized today that I am learning to be. The stuff that I now think of to say, play, create, set-up, and make with you really surprises me. And I didn't really see it until today. But this- all I've been learning- can only be learned through being with you all day every day. A mother's work truly never ends. And I do love it. Wow!

Anyhow, I really shouldn't be writing you right now but I must. Here are just a couple of things I wanted to tell you:

After a brief divorce from peanut butter you all of the sudden were eating spoonfuls yesterday. You said, "I want more peanus, mommy" I laughed, we practiced saying peanut butter, and moved on.

"Stand this up, mommy." This is the second most heard phrase- used to be the first. I've told you about your lunch box you carry around with all your little plastic toys (pictures to come)... I can't remember if I've told you what you do with them. All day long you go to various areas around the house and start lining up your toys. You have very specific ways you want each animal to be, and I can't figure out the method to your madness, but I love it. And it's different every time, but very thought out. Well, I should say- I love it and it scares me at the same time :) Whenever we play this together (which is most of the time), you like to give me orders as to which animals to put where. That's where "stand this up..." comes from. Oh, and you can say any and all animal names, but for some reason you just say "this" in this situation, I think because you are so focused...did I mention you love animals?! And don't worry, I don't let you order me around all the time, and I do make you say please (most of the time)!

You peed in the very front and center aisle of church today. Yup. And lots of people saw you. Yup. And this was after a very stressful preceeding 45 minutes of mom with both kids by herself at church. And don't worry, you didn't get embarrassed, you actually just laughed and continued being naughty. Oh well. It was a very bad time for you (2:00, you usually nap at 1:00), and we should have never been sitting in the front row. I'm happy I can laugh it off now.

Otherwise, we have considered you potty-trained! You hadn't really had any "accidents" in about a month, you don't need any type of rewards to go, and we don't even put a diaper on you at night. This was a fluke, I say!

At the doctor you were in the 50th percentile for head circumference (you're finally growing into it!), 30th for heighth, and 4th for weight! My petite little girl, but you really are a good eater these days.

Okay, good night. Mommy loves you, and Daddy loves you even though he is far away. More than you will know. Now I know why parents always say that.

-Mama

Dear Luthien,

I happened to find these two pictures on this computer so I thought I would share what I have. You sure do have a love-hate relationship with your little "Bastian boy" (as you call him). Here, of course, you are as sweet as ever :) Note that Mom passed down her blasted cowlick to you (not sure how to spell that one). I am constantly pushing your bangs to the opposite side, just like I do with myself. Sorry about that, it's just a pet peeve of mine. Also note how you love to smile for the camera these days!

You also love all things water. You always have, but it seems a little more so lately. As you can see in the second picture we finally got a bit of the monsoon here, and you loved playing in the rain and talking all about the lightning, thunder, and rainbows you saw.

You continue to talk A LOT these days. In fact, mom and dad really aren't allowed to have a conversation according to you :) I can't believe I'm saying this (well, I guess I can...), but you LOVE to be the center of attention. You still have your shy moments with strangers but this has definitely decreased.

I love you sweet girl,

Mama

Oh Darmouth, Eee Are You?!!

These are the lyrics to the chorus of one of your favorite songs to sing these days. "Eee" is how you say "where." It's really strange because you can totally say the /r/ phoneme (okay, so it's really really close), but you can't say the /w/. And because you ask A LOT of wh-questions (mainly what, where, why) we hear "eee," "air" (where), and "I" quite often (not phonetically transcribed, so you can understand one day). Not sure why you drop the /r/ on "where" considering you use it in the final position in other words, but that's what you do. I really can't say why or when you made up this song. Of course we have been saying the word "Dartmouth" around our house a lot these days, since that is where we are moving in a couple of weeks, but the rest of the lyrics (or melody for that matter) I can't explain :)

Yes, we are moving to Massachusetts, and yes, we are excited! Really the only thing that makes me nervous is whether or not you will like it. You have been blessed to be close by your cousin Amelie, Nana/Grandad plus Uncles and Aunts, not to mention my family only an hour and a half away for the first two years of your life. So I really have no idea how you will adjust to being only with me, Dad, and Bastian- well, really just Bastian and I since dad will be just a tad busy for the next three years. I hope we can visit Uncle Beau/Aunt Trisha and your cousins Georges and Olivia in Brooklyn often. We talk about how we're "moving by Georgie" often and you seem to like the idea. I just can't help to think about the day you say goodbye to your best friend and cousin Ami- this will be a sad day. But everything else we are excited about- the history, the weather, the ocean, etc.

I wanted to also let you know that you request to watch Lion King about 3 times daily. For the record, watching Lion King in our house means pulling up the four main songs on You Tube, a total of about 12 minutes. Tonight, after a particularly difficult day, I put you in bed and expected the usual scream-fest. Instead, I was overjoyed to hear you singing "I just can't wait to be king" over and over at the top of your lungs all the way up until you passed out. This has been another fun milestone since you have turned two- singing! I think I've mentioned a few of the songs you can sing, but I want to add "Barges," "Buckaroo," "Ring around the rosy," a few songs from Sesame Street celebrity You Tube videos, and all the Lion King songs.

And just to touch on potty training- you now will go on the big potty when we are out! We haven't had any accidents since I've last written. I'm so proud of you!

Okay, love you my big girl! And by the way, your baby brother's blog is http://www.babyrapier.blogspot.com/

-Mama

Really Really big sister...?

Luthien,
Okay, so I am at a loss of what to title these posts because one thing has really stuck out in the past couple of months: how quickly you are growing up! Remind me never to have a baby right when another one of my children turns 2. It just seems to be such a milestone age, at least for you. Unfortunately I do not have pictures to share right now because we've been staying at Nana's house and we have no way to load them on this computer, but instead of waiting to tell you these things like I have been, I decided I want to hurry and share them.
1) Since I last wrote, you are talking SO much more! I'm pretty sure there isn't anything you can't say, or at least attempt. You repeat everything we say, no matter how difficult the word or sentence may be. And of course your comprehension amazes me too. I never imagined myself as being one of those parents who spells everything out when talking to another adult around the children, but we have to do that with you.
2) You are almost potty trained! You still get either a sticker or little toy when you go, but you always tell us. You've been wearing panties only the entire last week, even during naps. We put a diaper on at night but it is never necessary because you have been dry every morning this week. When we go places it has been a bit more difficult, but you are showing improvement. You peed on the floor at the library on Monday because you were scared to go on the "big potty." So maybe this week we will practice going potty on our big potty so it isn't so scary when we're out. Aunt Stefa watched you two days this week since Mommy has been busy packing. The first day you had an accident, but the second day you told her when you had to go. I'm so proud of you!
3) All of the sudden you have turned into such a ham. You used to be really shy around strangers but this week you have not been afraid to talk and be silly with new friends.
4) Nana got you a Toy Story lunch box to put all of your little animal toys in and you could not be happier. All I hear is, "where did box go Mommy?" You take your box everywhere and it is now getting way too full because you LOVE to collect as many little animals as possible.

That is all for now, I will show you pictures of all of these things as soon as possible. I still can't believe you are 2!
Love,
Mama

Really big sister, part 2

Dear Luthien,

I feel so silly; I am holding back the tears as I write. Yesterday I finally sat down to document everything that has gone on in the past couple of months. I saved the post and planned on finishing tonight, on the eve of your birthday :), and it is gone. Blogger hasn't let me down up to this point but I'm afraid tonight it has. And with lack of sleep combined with breastfeeding hormones, you can only imagine how upset this made me!

Anyhow, I wanted to tell you what a big girl you have become in the past two months. Maybe I was supposed to state this fact much more simply than I usually do. Everything about your development has flourished. One day you were saying 1-2 words at a time and the next day you were using 5-6 word sentences. I first realized this when you demanded, "Mom, I wanna go in there!!" I can't remember what you were referring to, I just know that it caught me off guard. Some of your favorite things to say and do are: saying "Watch this mommy!" while jumping and falling down on the bed, saying "Ready, set, go" and running across the lawn or down the hallway, and counting (you can count from 1-12). You have a habit of starting most sentences with "I want...," and also "he's..." "it's..." "what's...?" or "where is...?" (I guess those last two are questions). You are not as shy in public or with strangers anymore. You love telling people how old you are going to be on your birthday (which as I write is now today)! When people ask me how you are doing with Bastian, I used to roll my eyes. You are totally sweet about 60% of the time. We won't mention the other 40%. I am learning to become more patient and understanding with this every day. Because of Bastian and a myriad of other changes that have occurred during this time, we have shared lots of tears and I have witnessed lots of tantrums. But we've also had some of the most advanced conversations I've ever had with an almost 2 year-old, laughed, danced, and sang a lot. All of these moments I cherish. I had many more pictures I wanted to share with you but I leave you with just a few tonight (above because I can't figure out this dang PC); no description necessary. Just know how much I adore you. I can't believe you are 2 today!

I love you,

Mama

Big Sister

Dearest Luthien,

So much to say and yet I'm not sure how to say it all or where to start. And of course, as usual- and even more so now- there is not a lot of time. Your little brother Bastian Beau arrived this past Friday morning. In the short time since that day your mama has watched you mature from her sweet baby girl to a very big girl (still sweet of course) in ways that are hard to put into words. Seeing your face as you walked into our hospital room and as you first held your little brother is a feeling no mother can describe, and it brings me to tears just thinking about it. I could tell you understood that the baby who was once in mommy's tummy was now a tangible being, and watching that comprehension take place in your 22 month-old brain was, and still is amazing to me. I think you were worried about me, and yet taking in the wonder that was/is your brother all at the same time. We continued to reassure you that mommy was okay, and then you held your brother and pointed out all of his features, starting from his head and moving all the way down to his toes. There were plenty of kisses to be had, and lots of gentle pats on his head. We never once had to tell you to be gentle, you just knew. When you came to visit, we hadn't picked out a name for your little brother yet. Dad was set on a different name, but Mama knew in her heart once she met him it wasn't quite right. Daddy took you out in the waiting area and asked you what we should name him, giving you the two choices. You immediately said "Bastian" (sounding sort of like "Bastee"), and Dad's heart melted. In that moment he knew his two girls had chosen the name of his son.

Bastian and I were able to come home from the hospital the very next day, and these days following were/are trying ones. Daddy had to go to the hospital again so you were being passed from house to house (between Aunt Stefa and Nana), coming over only to visit Bastian and I for brief periods. These visits involved Mom not being able to lift you, which you are very used to, and Mom pretty much holding the baby much of the time you were around. By day 3 of this you started not acting yourself. Not to mention, on top of all of this you had gotten sick. My poor girl. How desperately I wanted for Dad to be home and for us to enjoy our new little family. You still were good, but something wasn't quite right. Well, Dad is now home and although he is still not feeling well, we're getting there. You want to hold Bastian all the time, which is very sweet, but sometimes I have to tell you no, like here:

And just one more picture for now, because I'm nursing Bastian and only have one hand to type. And by the way I apologize for how often you have to hear me say that, and just as I thought you do get a bit jealous of the whole thing even though we discovered you no longer like the taste of my breastmilk (you exclaimed "yuck" after tasting it again).

This picture is of you at around 3 a.m. when Dad took you to Aunt Stefa's while Mom was in labor. So much for keeping you asleep and transferring you to the carseat :) Saying goodbye to you in between intense contractions was another one of the most emotional moments of my life, which was unexpected. I guess I knew what was to come and your innocence and tenderness towards me in those moments were so special.

I love you my first baby girl,

Mama

No way

Hi Luthien,

For some reason I have felt as though there has not been much to share with you lately, and that is totally wrong- or as your favorite new expression goes, "No way!" I know that if I were to take the time to document more often I would remember better the many interesting and beautiful things that happen each day. We have just continued to be very overwhelmed with "the switch." At this point dad is (sort of) begging me to go back to work so he can be home with you again and not have to deal with the stress of working and being in school. But we both know deep down that this is the best set-up, and I really have been having a lot of fun with you lately. The only problem is that I feel as though I haven't been the best mommy I can be because of how much your new baby sister/brother is taking a toll on my body. You never did this to me, my sweet baby girl, so you have the one-up there :) Baby is so low that it is difficult for me to walk. I push through the pain usually, but sometimes I just can't, which means we don't get to do as many fun things together.

Well, enough about me, and on to you. I tried to figure out where in the world you acquired the phrase "no way," when finally one day Aunt Stefa caught me saying it. I still claim that you started saying it first, but I suppose there is a chance you got it from me. We finally got you a little play house and car from a second hand store, and you have mastered your prepositions, just as I had hoped. This only means I have to think of a new skill to work on with you! You still have to be prompted to use phrases that consist of two words or more, so that is the main thing we have been working on. But not too hard... I promise :) We've kept busy with play dates/activities every day. I learned very quickly that this is a must for our sanity. I just hope we can keep it up when the baby comes!

Okay, Luthien, I will have more to report soon, and hopefully before baby comes. I just had to get these things off my mind.

I love you so much!

Mom