Really Really big sister...?

Luthien,
Okay, so I am at a loss of what to title these posts because one thing has really stuck out in the past couple of months: how quickly you are growing up! Remind me never to have a baby right when another one of my children turns 2. It just seems to be such a milestone age, at least for you. Unfortunately I do not have pictures to share right now because we've been staying at Nana's house and we have no way to load them on this computer, but instead of waiting to tell you these things like I have been, I decided I want to hurry and share them.
1) Since I last wrote, you are talking SO much more! I'm pretty sure there isn't anything you can't say, or at least attempt. You repeat everything we say, no matter how difficult the word or sentence may be. And of course your comprehension amazes me too. I never imagined myself as being one of those parents who spells everything out when talking to another adult around the children, but we have to do that with you.
2) You are almost potty trained! You still get either a sticker or little toy when you go, but you always tell us. You've been wearing panties only the entire last week, even during naps. We put a diaper on at night but it is never necessary because you have been dry every morning this week. When we go places it has been a bit more difficult, but you are showing improvement. You peed on the floor at the library on Monday because you were scared to go on the "big potty." So maybe this week we will practice going potty on our big potty so it isn't so scary when we're out. Aunt Stefa watched you two days this week since Mommy has been busy packing. The first day you had an accident, but the second day you told her when you had to go. I'm so proud of you!
3) All of the sudden you have turned into such a ham. You used to be really shy around strangers but this week you have not been afraid to talk and be silly with new friends.
4) Nana got you a Toy Story lunch box to put all of your little animal toys in and you could not be happier. All I hear is, "where did box go Mommy?" You take your box everywhere and it is now getting way too full because you LOVE to collect as many little animals as possible.

That is all for now, I will show you pictures of all of these things as soon as possible. I still can't believe you are 2!
Love,
Mama

Really big sister, part 2

Dear Luthien,

I feel so silly; I am holding back the tears as I write. Yesterday I finally sat down to document everything that has gone on in the past couple of months. I saved the post and planned on finishing tonight, on the eve of your birthday :), and it is gone. Blogger hasn't let me down up to this point but I'm afraid tonight it has. And with lack of sleep combined with breastfeeding hormones, you can only imagine how upset this made me!

Anyhow, I wanted to tell you what a big girl you have become in the past two months. Maybe I was supposed to state this fact much more simply than I usually do. Everything about your development has flourished. One day you were saying 1-2 words at a time and the next day you were using 5-6 word sentences. I first realized this when you demanded, "Mom, I wanna go in there!!" I can't remember what you were referring to, I just know that it caught me off guard. Some of your favorite things to say and do are: saying "Watch this mommy!" while jumping and falling down on the bed, saying "Ready, set, go" and running across the lawn or down the hallway, and counting (you can count from 1-12). You have a habit of starting most sentences with "I want...," and also "he's..." "it's..." "what's...?" or "where is...?" (I guess those last two are questions). You are not as shy in public or with strangers anymore. You love telling people how old you are going to be on your birthday (which as I write is now today)! When people ask me how you are doing with Bastian, I used to roll my eyes. You are totally sweet about 60% of the time. We won't mention the other 40%. I am learning to become more patient and understanding with this every day. Because of Bastian and a myriad of other changes that have occurred during this time, we have shared lots of tears and I have witnessed lots of tantrums. But we've also had some of the most advanced conversations I've ever had with an almost 2 year-old, laughed, danced, and sang a lot. All of these moments I cherish. I had many more pictures I wanted to share with you but I leave you with just a few tonight (above because I can't figure out this dang PC); no description necessary. Just know how much I adore you. I can't believe you are 2 today!

I love you,

Mama

Big Sister

Dearest Luthien,

So much to say and yet I'm not sure how to say it all or where to start. And of course, as usual- and even more so now- there is not a lot of time. Your little brother Bastian Beau arrived this past Friday morning. In the short time since that day your mama has watched you mature from her sweet baby girl to a very big girl (still sweet of course) in ways that are hard to put into words. Seeing your face as you walked into our hospital room and as you first held your little brother is a feeling no mother can describe, and it brings me to tears just thinking about it. I could tell you understood that the baby who was once in mommy's tummy was now a tangible being, and watching that comprehension take place in your 22 month-old brain was, and still is amazing to me. I think you were worried about me, and yet taking in the wonder that was/is your brother all at the same time. We continued to reassure you that mommy was okay, and then you held your brother and pointed out all of his features, starting from his head and moving all the way down to his toes. There were plenty of kisses to be had, and lots of gentle pats on his head. We never once had to tell you to be gentle, you just knew. When you came to visit, we hadn't picked out a name for your little brother yet. Dad was set on a different name, but Mama knew in her heart once she met him it wasn't quite right. Daddy took you out in the waiting area and asked you what we should name him, giving you the two choices. You immediately said "Bastian" (sounding sort of like "Bastee"), and Dad's heart melted. In that moment he knew his two girls had chosen the name of his son.

Bastian and I were able to come home from the hospital the very next day, and these days following were/are trying ones. Daddy had to go to the hospital again so you were being passed from house to house (between Aunt Stefa and Nana), coming over only to visit Bastian and I for brief periods. These visits involved Mom not being able to lift you, which you are very used to, and Mom pretty much holding the baby much of the time you were around. By day 3 of this you started not acting yourself. Not to mention, on top of all of this you had gotten sick. My poor girl. How desperately I wanted for Dad to be home and for us to enjoy our new little family. You still were good, but something wasn't quite right. Well, Dad is now home and although he is still not feeling well, we're getting there. You want to hold Bastian all the time, which is very sweet, but sometimes I have to tell you no, like here:

And just one more picture for now, because I'm nursing Bastian and only have one hand to type. And by the way I apologize for how often you have to hear me say that, and just as I thought you do get a bit jealous of the whole thing even though we discovered you no longer like the taste of my breastmilk (you exclaimed "yuck" after tasting it again).

This picture is of you at around 3 a.m. when Dad took you to Aunt Stefa's while Mom was in labor. So much for keeping you asleep and transferring you to the carseat :) Saying goodbye to you in between intense contractions was another one of the most emotional moments of my life, which was unexpected. I guess I knew what was to come and your innocence and tenderness towards me in those moments were so special.

I love you my first baby girl,

Mama

No way

Hi Luthien,

For some reason I have felt as though there has not been much to share with you lately, and that is totally wrong- or as your favorite new expression goes, "No way!" I know that if I were to take the time to document more often I would remember better the many interesting and beautiful things that happen each day. We have just continued to be very overwhelmed with "the switch." At this point dad is (sort of) begging me to go back to work so he can be home with you again and not have to deal with the stress of working and being in school. But we both know deep down that this is the best set-up, and I really have been having a lot of fun with you lately. The only problem is that I feel as though I haven't been the best mommy I can be because of how much your new baby sister/brother is taking a toll on my body. You never did this to me, my sweet baby girl, so you have the one-up there :) Baby is so low that it is difficult for me to walk. I push through the pain usually, but sometimes I just can't, which means we don't get to do as many fun things together.

Well, enough about me, and on to you. I tried to figure out where in the world you acquired the phrase "no way," when finally one day Aunt Stefa caught me saying it. I still claim that you started saying it first, but I suppose there is a chance you got it from me. We finally got you a little play house and car from a second hand store, and you have mastered your prepositions, just as I had hoped. This only means I have to think of a new skill to work on with you! You still have to be prompted to use phrases that consist of two words or more, so that is the main thing we have been working on. But not too hard... I promise :) We've kept busy with play dates/activities every day. I learned very quickly that this is a must for our sanity. I just hope we can keep it up when the baby comes!

Okay, Luthien, I will have more to report soon, and hopefully before baby comes. I just had to get these things off my mind.

I love you so much!

Mom

Potty, Ponies, and More Pictures

Hi Luthien,

I am really going to try to make this short, just focus on a few recent pictures of you. You and I had a good day today. I'm sorry mommy feels sick so much and my patience wears thin. The baby seems to be taking a lot out of me lately (more than I remember with you), but you are such a trooper about it. There have been a few moments where I've cried, and you always shower me with kisses. Although, in these moments you always get really worried and say "it's okay" a lot. I feel really bad about upsetting you but I know these are good emotions to learn about.

Okay, on to pictures...

I'll start with these great potty training shots:

Around our house, I keep you naked a lot. I have been trying to get you to learn the whole going potty in the toilet vs. diaper/floor for some time now. I guess I haven't done anything super consistent, but mostly because I've been trying to feel out if you were ready or not. Conclusion: don't let the first picture fool you- you're not really ready and I don't think I should force it. Although I would love to have you trained by the time we have a new baby, I think we're going to stay in the stage we're at and not push it too much. You really have never actually let your potty out on the toilet yet, even though whenever I ask you, you excitedly run there. So, we will continue to be naked and talk about this whole potty business as much as possible. I know you will love the naked part.

P.S. Notice the super girly necklace you are wearing. This was given to you by a friend and of course with all the pink, purple, and shininess you LOVE it. I must confess that I sometimes hide it so you won't ask to wear it. I also have to mention that last week you insisted on walking around the entire neighborhood wearing only your necklace and shoes. I was able to get baby legs on you only by repeatedly explaining that you would get an owie if you didn't put something over your knees.

Next, here is a gem from the Phoenix Zoo. You loved this Komodo Dragon and we were able to get really close. You kept calling him a snake because he sticks his tongue out like one, but when we came home we practiced the difference between them (and lizards, since you confuse them too!). One of your favorite activities is to have mom draw animals, so we did this for a long time and wrote out their names and talked about them. I think I've mentioned that I am a terrible artist, but getting better since you force me to practice every day!

And here are a few pictures that show your very first "pony," as we call it. I have been unsure what to do with your hair now that the mullet is back. Dad always wants to keep it long, and this time I sort of agreed with him, although I have to trim your bangs somewhat. We have refrained from styling your hair at all, so your first pony was a big deal. We can't believe how grown up you look!

After a couple of failed ponies (single, that is, and when I say that I just mean that they fell out after about 5 minutes), we attempted two ponies, which we sometimes call piggies, depending on our particular mood. This is all kind of a big deal for mom also, because she's really not good at styling hair. Of course, you can see that the end result is nowhere near perfect, but suitable enough for a 1 year-old I think (especially since they still end up falling out- piggies have a life span of a few hours max we've discovered).

And here is one more picture with mom, 7 1/2 months pregnant. Don't let the front view trick you- this baby (and you, for that matter) only shows from the side. We tried to get another view of the double ponies/piggies but you were moving too much, so this is the best we got!

Recently we got to visit your Grandpa Ed and meet your new "Grandma" Sue. You warmed up to Sue really fast (as did we) and loved all her toys, and especially her turtle, Petey. You had so much fun that you cried when it was time to leave! You can't wait to meet her two other turtles who were still hibernating when we visited.

And lastly, two shots from our painting fun today. You were really loving getting your hands messy today, which was fun for a change. You can see your camera smile in the first picture, and in the second picture, how intent you were on your painting.

I realized I left out a lot of new words and phrases last time, but I decided they are getting too numerous to mention. So from here on out I'll just make note of major language milestones and/or some really classic things you say.

Love you,

Mom

I was your silver lining... but now I'm gold

Dear Luthien,

So, it's now been a month of me being home with you full-time, and I must say that our bond has really changed. I am finally learning to appreciate each moment I have with you instead of worrying about what skill I should be practicing with you, what needs to be cleaned, or what food needs to be prepared. We usually eat breakfast and lunch together (and often dinner now that dad started working again), just you and I. This used to be stressful for me because I'm always worried about what you're eating, but at the same time I'm starving and I've always been a person who likes to savor my food very slowly, either over a long chat with another person or in total silence by myself (I know, my roommates used to think I was totally weird for this). But now I can say that you and I have our little eating routine down. You sit in your high chair for a good 25 minutes just talking and laughing with me while we eat, slowly- just how I like it. I'm usually still not done after that time so I let you down to play while I finish. We're still working on getting your nap routine down since you're trying to figure out if you're ready for only one nap or not yet. I promise, if only you'd sleep in just a little later in the morning you could go the entire morning without getting so tired...please consider this!!

It has been a bittersweet transition for dad and I, this whole switching of roles. Dad misses you, and misses the fact that you no longer need him for certain activities. In fact, this week you have wanted only me for everything, which I'm not used to, and which again, is bittersweet. I just hope with how busy dad is getting and how much you're getting used to me being around, you can keep up the bond you had developed with him, and I know he does too.

I just wanted to add a few pictures and update you with a couple of things. I can't remember if I've said this already but somehow you have totally taken a liking to the girliest of all colors- pink and purple are definitely your favorites, which is so strange because we tried to expose you to every other color since we're not the biggest fans of these. Below is a picture of how you walk around the house with these particular crayons. And no, it is definitely not a coincidence:

As further evidence, you have a "fishing" puzzle that you do at least once a day. Oh, on a side note you are a puzzle master. I can tell already that your memorization skills are like your dad's. The fish puzzle does not have pictures underneath but somehow you put all the fish pieces back in under a minute, just by memory of where each of the colors of fish go- it's definitely better than I can do! Anyhow, for awhile you would "go fishing" for all the puzzle pieces and then put all of the fishies back EXCEPT the pink and purple ones. Those you would insist on holding onto for a good part of the day. You haven't been doing this as much lately, but I have been meaning to tell you about it. Sorry, but I didn't capture a very good picture of this habit- you'll just have to trust me on this one.

Also as of recently you started doing the cheesy camera smile. This one isn't as cheesy as they come, but you can see that you are certainly posing for the camera:

And one more picture, just for fun. A month or so ago we took pictures holding some ornaments we purchased using an Anthropologie gift card my boss gave us for Christmas. I love your football player pose here, and of course you are wearing the pink beads you were obsessed with at the time:

Luthien, I have much more to tell but it will have to wait. Just know that I love laughing with you, and I love feeling needed by you. If I really think about it, I can't think of a better feeling in the world. I'm especially glad I decided to take these couple months to be with you 14 hours of the day, every day, so that I really get to know you and appreciate all of you before the baby comes.

A few new words and phrases before I go: alligator, monkey, "oh my!" "all clean," gray, white, black, brown, hot, elevator, pancake, "thank you," "it's okay." You've also been saying "dog uh-oh" every time we pull up to our house because Roofus has been knocking over the garbage and spreading it all over the house every time we forget to put it outside before we leave. We're still working on saying Roofus, instead of dog. I think you still get too frustrated that you don't say the /r/ just right, so it usually just comes out as jargon. Another new word/concept you've learned is "me." You first said it when grandad and nana brought you a toy when they came to babysit. You grabbed the box and said "me!"

I love you,

Mama

P.S. Thanks to our good friend Allie for bringing new music to my life. It's been totally refreshing and you and I love to dance to it. Dad tends to deprive us of female artists (unknowingly), so it's been awhile :)

Bye bye boobins

Hi Luthien,

Okay, I hope the title of this post does not embarrass you too much when you're older. It almost embarrasses me except for the fact that I am not a very "modest" person for lack of a better word. So, yes, for some odd reason, ever since you've been very young, I've referred to my breasts as "boobins" to you. I have no idea where this came from, and although we continue to use that word since you know and understand it, I have also been teaching you the correct terminology. This month we finally stopped nursing altogether. I had always planned on nursing you until at least the age of two, but I believe that my working full-time for so long interrupted this process. You became so accustomed to not needing "boobins" to go down for a nap, etc. since I was gone throughout the day, that when I was around to nurse you on weekends, it seemed to interfere with the routine you had developed and messed up your sleep schedule, among other things. So, by 13 months you were only nursing twice per day. By 16 months you were down to once a day, in the mornings only. I also became pregnant with your little brother or sister when you turned 1, and from that point on I became much more sensitive to your routine biting (I know you never meant to bite, you've just had a mouthful of teeth-molars and all- since you were fairly young and they just started getting in the way!). I also became fatigued and hungry very easily from nursing.

But it wasn't my being pregnant, the pain, or even my working that led to saying bye bye to the boobins. Every morning when you would wake up, I would pick you up and bring you to our bed to lay and nurse for awhile. As you got older I had a love/hate relationship with this, because although it meant I got to rest a bit longer (which is important because you wake up pretty consistently at 6:15 and I never get to bed before 11 or 12), you had begun to bite me so hard, which meant I was wide awake the whole time. But nevertheless, it was dark, quiet, and I was laying down. But for about a week straight, right around the time you turned 19 months old, I would bring you into our room and you started saying "no, no." I have to admit this was very hard to hear. After a week of continuing to try, we finally said "bye bye" to the boobins. Literally. I could see no point in trying to force it since at this point you weren't really getting much nutrition from nursing, and considering you would likely have to give it up when the new baby arrives. We also have discussed how the boobins belong to the baby in my tummy now, and so far you're okay with this. I'm sure there will be some jealousy when he/she arrives, but we'll see.

There are many other noteworthy changes that have occurred in the past month. I took you to your 18-month check up and you were actually ON the chart for your weight!! So this calmed down the doctor a little bit and got me out of having to explain myself yet again. As of the past couple weeks you are starting to combine words. You now consistently say "all done." You can also say "thank you," "one more," and a few other 2-word combos if you're repeating. I think you are about to really start talking more because you've been "jargoning" a lot lately. You say full sentences with appropriate prosody but they are either complete nonsense, or you start out with a real word and the rest is jargon. It's very cute, and like I said, I can tell it's leading to another milestone. You can now say all your colors too! Colors like "red" and "orange" would be a little difficult for a stranger to understand, but you are very consistent with your productions and the way you say them again indicates to me that you are a perfectionist. You don't want to just say "wed" for "red." You draw out the "r" sound to try to practice saying it correctly- and sometimes it's really close! You do tend to leave off most final consonants, which is a very typical pattern but it's interesting for me to observe. You continue to love animals, and always want to color and have me draw a puppy, kitty, or turtle. You love putting legos (or anything) together.

Well, that's it for now. I'll have to share pictures next time. We really haven't taken very many lately, so this is a good reminder.

I love you!

Mama

p.s. I almost forgot to say that this is my first week as an official stay-at-home mom. I'm so excited to have these next couple months with you before the new baby comes. I still am too perfectionistic about the whole thing (there's no question where you acquired that trait), but I'm working on it, and loving every minute (well, almost every minute) of being home with you! I'm learning to find joy in even the hard moments :). I hope you can be patient with me as I learn to be a mommy on a whole new level!