I was your silver lining... but now I'm gold

Dear Luthien,

So, it's now been a month of me being home with you full-time, and I must say that our bond has really changed. I am finally learning to appreciate each moment I have with you instead of worrying about what skill I should be practicing with you, what needs to be cleaned, or what food needs to be prepared. We usually eat breakfast and lunch together (and often dinner now that dad started working again), just you and I. This used to be stressful for me because I'm always worried about what you're eating, but at the same time I'm starving and I've always been a person who likes to savor my food very slowly, either over a long chat with another person or in total silence by myself (I know, my roommates used to think I was totally weird for this). But now I can say that you and I have our little eating routine down. You sit in your high chair for a good 25 minutes just talking and laughing with me while we eat, slowly- just how I like it. I'm usually still not done after that time so I let you down to play while I finish. We're still working on getting your nap routine down since you're trying to figure out if you're ready for only one nap or not yet. I promise, if only you'd sleep in just a little later in the morning you could go the entire morning without getting so tired...please consider this!!

It has been a bittersweet transition for dad and I, this whole switching of roles. Dad misses you, and misses the fact that you no longer need him for certain activities. In fact, this week you have wanted only me for everything, which I'm not used to, and which again, is bittersweet. I just hope with how busy dad is getting and how much you're getting used to me being around, you can keep up the bond you had developed with him, and I know he does too.

I just wanted to add a few pictures and update you with a couple of things. I can't remember if I've said this already but somehow you have totally taken a liking to the girliest of all colors- pink and purple are definitely your favorites, which is so strange because we tried to expose you to every other color since we're not the biggest fans of these. Below is a picture of how you walk around the house with these particular crayons. And no, it is definitely not a coincidence:

As further evidence, you have a "fishing" puzzle that you do at least once a day. Oh, on a side note you are a puzzle master. I can tell already that your memorization skills are like your dad's. The fish puzzle does not have pictures underneath but somehow you put all the fish pieces back in under a minute, just by memory of where each of the colors of fish go- it's definitely better than I can do! Anyhow, for awhile you would "go fishing" for all the puzzle pieces and then put all of the fishies back EXCEPT the pink and purple ones. Those you would insist on holding onto for a good part of the day. You haven't been doing this as much lately, but I have been meaning to tell you about it. Sorry, but I didn't capture a very good picture of this habit- you'll just have to trust me on this one.

Also as of recently you started doing the cheesy camera smile. This one isn't as cheesy as they come, but you can see that you are certainly posing for the camera:

And one more picture, just for fun. A month or so ago we took pictures holding some ornaments we purchased using an Anthropologie gift card my boss gave us for Christmas. I love your football player pose here, and of course you are wearing the pink beads you were obsessed with at the time:

Luthien, I have much more to tell but it will have to wait. Just know that I love laughing with you, and I love feeling needed by you. If I really think about it, I can't think of a better feeling in the world. I'm especially glad I decided to take these couple months to be with you 14 hours of the day, every day, so that I really get to know you and appreciate all of you before the baby comes.

A few new words and phrases before I go: alligator, monkey, "oh my!" "all clean," gray, white, black, brown, hot, elevator, pancake, "thank you," "it's okay." You've also been saying "dog uh-oh" every time we pull up to our house because Roofus has been knocking over the garbage and spreading it all over the house every time we forget to put it outside before we leave. We're still working on saying Roofus, instead of dog. I think you still get too frustrated that you don't say the /r/ just right, so it usually just comes out as jargon. Another new word/concept you've learned is "me." You first said it when grandad and nana brought you a toy when they came to babysit. You grabbed the box and said "me!"

I love you,

Mama

P.S. Thanks to our good friend Allie for bringing new music to my life. It's been totally refreshing and you and I love to dance to it. Dad tends to deprive us of female artists (unknowingly), so it's been awhile :)