Potty, Ponies, and More Pictures

Hi Luthien,

I am really going to try to make this short, just focus on a few recent pictures of you. You and I had a good day today. I'm sorry mommy feels sick so much and my patience wears thin. The baby seems to be taking a lot out of me lately (more than I remember with you), but you are such a trooper about it. There have been a few moments where I've cried, and you always shower me with kisses. Although, in these moments you always get really worried and say "it's okay" a lot. I feel really bad about upsetting you but I know these are good emotions to learn about.

Okay, on to pictures...

I'll start with these great potty training shots:

Around our house, I keep you naked a lot. I have been trying to get you to learn the whole going potty in the toilet vs. diaper/floor for some time now. I guess I haven't done anything super consistent, but mostly because I've been trying to feel out if you were ready or not. Conclusion: don't let the first picture fool you- you're not really ready and I don't think I should force it. Although I would love to have you trained by the time we have a new baby, I think we're going to stay in the stage we're at and not push it too much. You really have never actually let your potty out on the toilet yet, even though whenever I ask you, you excitedly run there. So, we will continue to be naked and talk about this whole potty business as much as possible. I know you will love the naked part.

P.S. Notice the super girly necklace you are wearing. This was given to you by a friend and of course with all the pink, purple, and shininess you LOVE it. I must confess that I sometimes hide it so you won't ask to wear it. I also have to mention that last week you insisted on walking around the entire neighborhood wearing only your necklace and shoes. I was able to get baby legs on you only by repeatedly explaining that you would get an owie if you didn't put something over your knees.

Next, here is a gem from the Phoenix Zoo. You loved this Komodo Dragon and we were able to get really close. You kept calling him a snake because he sticks his tongue out like one, but when we came home we practiced the difference between them (and lizards, since you confuse them too!). One of your favorite activities is to have mom draw animals, so we did this for a long time and wrote out their names and talked about them. I think I've mentioned that I am a terrible artist, but getting better since you force me to practice every day!

And here are a few pictures that show your very first "pony," as we call it. I have been unsure what to do with your hair now that the mullet is back. Dad always wants to keep it long, and this time I sort of agreed with him, although I have to trim your bangs somewhat. We have refrained from styling your hair at all, so your first pony was a big deal. We can't believe how grown up you look!

After a couple of failed ponies (single, that is, and when I say that I just mean that they fell out after about 5 minutes), we attempted two ponies, which we sometimes call piggies, depending on our particular mood. This is all kind of a big deal for mom also, because she's really not good at styling hair. Of course, you can see that the end result is nowhere near perfect, but suitable enough for a 1 year-old I think (especially since they still end up falling out- piggies have a life span of a few hours max we've discovered).

And here is one more picture with mom, 7 1/2 months pregnant. Don't let the front view trick you- this baby (and you, for that matter) only shows from the side. We tried to get another view of the double ponies/piggies but you were moving too much, so this is the best we got!

Recently we got to visit your Grandpa Ed and meet your new "Grandma" Sue. You warmed up to Sue really fast (as did we) and loved all her toys, and especially her turtle, Petey. You had so much fun that you cried when it was time to leave! You can't wait to meet her two other turtles who were still hibernating when we visited.

And lastly, two shots from our painting fun today. You were really loving getting your hands messy today, which was fun for a change. You can see your camera smile in the first picture, and in the second picture, how intent you were on your painting.

I realized I left out a lot of new words and phrases last time, but I decided they are getting too numerous to mention. So from here on out I'll just make note of major language milestones and/or some really classic things you say.

Love you,

Mom

I was your silver lining... but now I'm gold

Dear Luthien,

So, it's now been a month of me being home with you full-time, and I must say that our bond has really changed. I am finally learning to appreciate each moment I have with you instead of worrying about what skill I should be practicing with you, what needs to be cleaned, or what food needs to be prepared. We usually eat breakfast and lunch together (and often dinner now that dad started working again), just you and I. This used to be stressful for me because I'm always worried about what you're eating, but at the same time I'm starving and I've always been a person who likes to savor my food very slowly, either over a long chat with another person or in total silence by myself (I know, my roommates used to think I was totally weird for this). But now I can say that you and I have our little eating routine down. You sit in your high chair for a good 25 minutes just talking and laughing with me while we eat, slowly- just how I like it. I'm usually still not done after that time so I let you down to play while I finish. We're still working on getting your nap routine down since you're trying to figure out if you're ready for only one nap or not yet. I promise, if only you'd sleep in just a little later in the morning you could go the entire morning without getting so tired...please consider this!!

It has been a bittersweet transition for dad and I, this whole switching of roles. Dad misses you, and misses the fact that you no longer need him for certain activities. In fact, this week you have wanted only me for everything, which I'm not used to, and which again, is bittersweet. I just hope with how busy dad is getting and how much you're getting used to me being around, you can keep up the bond you had developed with him, and I know he does too.

I just wanted to add a few pictures and update you with a couple of things. I can't remember if I've said this already but somehow you have totally taken a liking to the girliest of all colors- pink and purple are definitely your favorites, which is so strange because we tried to expose you to every other color since we're not the biggest fans of these. Below is a picture of how you walk around the house with these particular crayons. And no, it is definitely not a coincidence:

As further evidence, you have a "fishing" puzzle that you do at least once a day. Oh, on a side note you are a puzzle master. I can tell already that your memorization skills are like your dad's. The fish puzzle does not have pictures underneath but somehow you put all the fish pieces back in under a minute, just by memory of where each of the colors of fish go- it's definitely better than I can do! Anyhow, for awhile you would "go fishing" for all the puzzle pieces and then put all of the fishies back EXCEPT the pink and purple ones. Those you would insist on holding onto for a good part of the day. You haven't been doing this as much lately, but I have been meaning to tell you about it. Sorry, but I didn't capture a very good picture of this habit- you'll just have to trust me on this one.

Also as of recently you started doing the cheesy camera smile. This one isn't as cheesy as they come, but you can see that you are certainly posing for the camera:

And one more picture, just for fun. A month or so ago we took pictures holding some ornaments we purchased using an Anthropologie gift card my boss gave us for Christmas. I love your football player pose here, and of course you are wearing the pink beads you were obsessed with at the time:

Luthien, I have much more to tell but it will have to wait. Just know that I love laughing with you, and I love feeling needed by you. If I really think about it, I can't think of a better feeling in the world. I'm especially glad I decided to take these couple months to be with you 14 hours of the day, every day, so that I really get to know you and appreciate all of you before the baby comes.

A few new words and phrases before I go: alligator, monkey, "oh my!" "all clean," gray, white, black, brown, hot, elevator, pancake, "thank you," "it's okay." You've also been saying "dog uh-oh" every time we pull up to our house because Roofus has been knocking over the garbage and spreading it all over the house every time we forget to put it outside before we leave. We're still working on saying Roofus, instead of dog. I think you still get too frustrated that you don't say the /r/ just right, so it usually just comes out as jargon. Another new word/concept you've learned is "me." You first said it when grandad and nana brought you a toy when they came to babysit. You grabbed the box and said "me!"

I love you,

Mama

P.S. Thanks to our good friend Allie for bringing new music to my life. It's been totally refreshing and you and I love to dance to it. Dad tends to deprive us of female artists (unknowingly), so it's been awhile :)

Bye bye boobins

Hi Luthien,

Okay, I hope the title of this post does not embarrass you too much when you're older. It almost embarrasses me except for the fact that I am not a very "modest" person for lack of a better word. So, yes, for some odd reason, ever since you've been very young, I've referred to my breasts as "boobins" to you. I have no idea where this came from, and although we continue to use that word since you know and understand it, I have also been teaching you the correct terminology. This month we finally stopped nursing altogether. I had always planned on nursing you until at least the age of two, but I believe that my working full-time for so long interrupted this process. You became so accustomed to not needing "boobins" to go down for a nap, etc. since I was gone throughout the day, that when I was around to nurse you on weekends, it seemed to interfere with the routine you had developed and messed up your sleep schedule, among other things. So, by 13 months you were only nursing twice per day. By 16 months you were down to once a day, in the mornings only. I also became pregnant with your little brother or sister when you turned 1, and from that point on I became much more sensitive to your routine biting (I know you never meant to bite, you've just had a mouthful of teeth-molars and all- since you were fairly young and they just started getting in the way!). I also became fatigued and hungry very easily from nursing.

But it wasn't my being pregnant, the pain, or even my working that led to saying bye bye to the boobins. Every morning when you would wake up, I would pick you up and bring you to our bed to lay and nurse for awhile. As you got older I had a love/hate relationship with this, because although it meant I got to rest a bit longer (which is important because you wake up pretty consistently at 6:15 and I never get to bed before 11 or 12), you had begun to bite me so hard, which meant I was wide awake the whole time. But nevertheless, it was dark, quiet, and I was laying down. But for about a week straight, right around the time you turned 19 months old, I would bring you into our room and you started saying "no, no." I have to admit this was very hard to hear. After a week of continuing to try, we finally said "bye bye" to the boobins. Literally. I could see no point in trying to force it since at this point you weren't really getting much nutrition from nursing, and considering you would likely have to give it up when the new baby arrives. We also have discussed how the boobins belong to the baby in my tummy now, and so far you're okay with this. I'm sure there will be some jealousy when he/she arrives, but we'll see.

There are many other noteworthy changes that have occurred in the past month. I took you to your 18-month check up and you were actually ON the chart for your weight!! So this calmed down the doctor a little bit and got me out of having to explain myself yet again. As of the past couple weeks you are starting to combine words. You now consistently say "all done." You can also say "thank you," "one more," and a few other 2-word combos if you're repeating. I think you are about to really start talking more because you've been "jargoning" a lot lately. You say full sentences with appropriate prosody but they are either complete nonsense, or you start out with a real word and the rest is jargon. It's very cute, and like I said, I can tell it's leading to another milestone. You can now say all your colors too! Colors like "red" and "orange" would be a little difficult for a stranger to understand, but you are very consistent with your productions and the way you say them again indicates to me that you are a perfectionist. You don't want to just say "wed" for "red." You draw out the "r" sound to try to practice saying it correctly- and sometimes it's really close! You do tend to leave off most final consonants, which is a very typical pattern but it's interesting for me to observe. You continue to love animals, and always want to color and have me draw a puppy, kitty, or turtle. You love putting legos (or anything) together.

Well, that's it for now. I'll have to share pictures next time. We really haven't taken very many lately, so this is a good reminder.

I love you!

Mama

p.s. I almost forgot to say that this is my first week as an official stay-at-home mom. I'm so excited to have these next couple months with you before the new baby comes. I still am too perfectionistic about the whole thing (there's no question where you acquired that trait), but I'm working on it, and loving every minute (well, almost every minute) of being home with you! I'm learning to find joy in even the hard moments :). I hope you can be patient with me as I learn to be a mommy on a whole new level!

New Years vacation from Hell

Luthien, Where should I begin?! A couple weeks before New Years it became the plan to take a trip to Utah. Dad really wanted to go snowboarding, see family, and most importantly, take you to the snow. Mom agreed to the trip with the condition that we stay at the very least 3, but preferably 4 nights, to make up for the 8 hour drive. A couple days before we left, dad started feeling sick with his Crohn's. He went to acupuncture and felt pretty good that evening and the following day, so we went forward with our vacation plans, despite there being a few other "signs" that it might not be the best idea. You were such a little angel on the trip up. Dad purchased a portable dvd player with the intention of taking it back, just to "try it out," much to mom's dismay. We only "needed" to use it one time for a 30 minute program when you got fussy, which is how much you're allowed to watch in a typical day anyway. Dad was in a great deal of pain the whole way up, so he was stretched out in the front seat while mom was totally smooshed (baby belly and all) behind him. I don't want to go into too much detail about the yucky parts of the trip, other than to say that the very same evening we got to Aunt Shelly's house for the New Year's party, it was determined by Uncle Kirk, an ER doctor himself, that he should go to the emergency room. He was admitted to the hospital so we ended up just playing around the house the next day. Here are some highlights:


You got to play with your second cousin Liam, who is only a month older than you. Check out these awesome handmade wooden rocking toys made by Uncle Kevin...



Here you are playing in the bath together. You taught Liam the art of splashing which we captured in an adorable video; Liam taught you how to say "whale" and "shark." I guess we need to review our sea animals more often!



Don't let the next pictures fool you- Dad put on a smiling face for the camera (a good one, too!) because he was happy to see you in the snow for about 10 minutes. He had just been discharged from the hospital since we were on vacation, and the trip was cut short so that, as it turned out, he could get care at the hospital close to our home.


Here are a few pictures of you with Mama, walking in the snow and looking at ducks on the half frozen pond.



For some reason mom's belly looks pretty small in this picture- also very deceiving!! I am 22 weeks pregnant with your baby sister/brother in the picture, but I look much further along
than I did with you at this stage!



And finally, the family shot....



Let me try to quickly sum up the remainder of the trip. We drove home at the absolute worst time of day for you (left around 3:00 p.m.). Dad was still in lots of pain, which again made for an uncomfortable ride home for mom, except this time you were very antsy and therefore fussy so that somehow added to the discomfort. You wouldn't take your afternoon nap like I thought you would right as we started driving. We turned on a short video while you ate some of my pasta and you ate a TON of it. Mom's instincts kicked in and I mentioned more than once that I thought we should stop feeding you. Dad and Nana, however, convinced me that we should feed you until you refused, since we're always so worried about your weight/calorie intake. 7:45 (your bedtime) rolled around and even though you skipped your nap and seemed exhausted, you were still awake. Everyone decided to stop at Subway. At this point mom had reached the end of her rope and wasn't paying attention to anything that was going on. Some of our family members (not naming names) decided to let you delve into a bag of cheetos, drink a whole juice box, and sample their chocolate milk. As you know, you have never tasted a cheeto, you only drink juice that is freshly juiced by me, and you've most definitely never had chocolate milk (or anything that contains high fructose corn syrup for that matter). We get back in the car to continue the journey home and you are acting totally crazy (sorry, it's true)! By 10:00 p.m.- an hour you've never seen before, I felt at a loss. Both Nana and I had tried rocking you to sleep and every time we thought you were almost asleep you seemed to have some sort of convulsion that made you SCREAM and wake up. We all concluded that you were totally overtired, especially since you can get pretty squirmy when you are going to sleep (though the sudden movements/screaming were pretty strange...). I finally decided to try putting on just one more half hour program to see if maybe you'd just fall asleep to that, since singing, rocking, and letting you just fuss in the car seat had not worked. About 5 minutes into the show, throw up just started POURING out of your mouth and did not stop for what seemed to be about 2 minutes. It got all over the dvd player (yeah, the one we were planning on returning), all over you, the carseat, and somehow all over Nana. We still had about 2 hours left of our trip, which was entirely nauseating for someone with an acute digestive problem and a pregnant woman. After cleaning up as best as we could, we continued on. You sat on dad's lap for a bit, and again, you started throwing up as though it would never end. At this point I decided to nurse you, to get some fluids back into your poor little body, and so that you could fall asleep. I only normally nurse you in the mornings now, because it has become excruciatingly painful and also very fatiguing being pregnant (plus for the past couple months you haven't been all that into it), but of course I made an exception. I nursed you the whole trip home and you finally fell asleep. We got home around midnight, and from that point until 7:30 a.m. when you woke up, I pretty much nursed you about half the time. It was the only way you could settle down and sleep. Poor baby.


I don't think I need to mention why I think you got so sick. It was obvious to everyone, and actually in some ways I'm glad that it happened (okay, not really, but you get my point...), because it was an interesting case study of how those type of foods can effect a body that is essentially pure, or free of processed foods. Unfortunately for most people the body doesn't react that quickly and direct. I was thinking that is because when we are given those foods from the start, we tend to develop some sort of tolerance that masks the potential long-term effects.... heart disease, stroke, cancer, CROHN'S and other autoimmune/chronic illnesses, the list goes on. After all, diseases are progressive... nothing novel, just one of the many food-related issues that have been on my mind lately. Sorry to ramble...


Anyhow, the day after the drive home/throwing up incident was absolutely terrible. I don't know if it was worse than some of the days of endless crying with you as a newborn, but it definitely brought me to tears and prayer so it must have been bad. Basically you were acting like a completely different child, and it scared me. I realize now you were just tired and still sick, but at the time it was very difficult for mama to handle. The day after that day (I won't go into any more detail about that great and terrible day) you were totally recovered. No fits, no tantrums, no tears- you and I just had a good day together, even with dad back in the hospital. Your sleeping is still a little off, which is why I'm finally standing my ground and saying no more road trips for awhile. When we do take a road trip next, it will be for a very, VERY good reason, and we will stay in one place for longer than 2 days. Dad has promised to sacrifice some of his spontaneity for all of our sanity and well-being.


On a more positive note, you are continuing to learn lots of new words. You finally learned "thank you" and you will repeat almost all of the colors, but you will only say "yellow" and "blue" totally independently. You're still not really putting two words together, but that's okay. You also started saying "meeou" instead of just "mou" when you make the sound for a cat. This was a big change because you had been saying "mou" for over 6 months now (plus you say it a lot since I think it's your favorite animal). Okay, I'll have to do a separate entry with all your development. That's all for now.


Good night little one,
Mama

Christmas 2009

Dear Luthien,
Again, a much overdue entry to your little journal, but hopefully you will understand and forgive me as I explain some of the recent happenings....

Christmas was nice. We went down to Tucson both the Sunday before, as well as Christmas Eve, to see first Grandma and then Grandpa plus Great Grandma Lorraine and your Uncle Ben/Aunt Kristin and cousins. Of course I forgot my camera those days. But before I go on here are a few more pictures from your photo shoot with Dad. I can't believe he actually put you in multiple outfits that day all on his own; I guess that's why I love him so much. Nothing particularly fancy about these shots, just wanted to share:




Christmas Eve night and the day of Christmas we made sure to be home in Phoenix so we could all relax. We went to Nana and Grandad's that night and read the nativity story together and sang songs. We did not get dressed up or act anything out (as is tradition in Dad's family, and perhaps the entire LDS church), but it was nice because we were all so tired from traveling to Tucson that day. We opened presents Christmas morning with Nana and Grandad, Uncle Rhett/Aunt Stefanie/Amelie, and Uncle Kade/Aunt Carlie but it extended into your nap time so you were pretty tired by the time we got through. We then relaxed and ate the rest of the day. Uncle Rhett and Aunt Stefanie were nice enough to watch you and Amelie while some of us got to go watch Sherlock Holmes. Dad was especially happy about that part of the day.

Here is a picture of you (after Christmas) with one of your favorite presents- a horse from Nana and Grandad. For awhile now you have refused to say horse and will only sometimes say "neigh," instead you have mastered the clicking sound that the horse's feet make.

Here you are the day of Christmas, showing off a handmade toy by the talented Aunt Stefa. I love this shot because it shows how tired you were, but yet how you so graciously posed for the picture!

Lastly, Mom and Dad's present to you was this wooden boat. You picked up very quickly on how to get on and off and rock back and forth. It's fun to put on our wood floors because you slide all around in addition to the rocking!


Not much else to report on Christmas, except for the fact that, as expected you would not be caught dead near Santa Clause. The funny part was that Santa was your Great Uncle Tyler, Nana's brother! But you screamed and would not have any part of it. Very different from your cousin Amelie who had no problem hopping on his lap. It's so amazing to see your two different personalities develop!

Love you,
Mama

Need I say anything?

My precious Luthien,
Oh, how you are growing up! Dad did some much-needed winter clothes shopping and had a little photo shoot with you last week and surprised me at work with this picture. The first thing I thought (after I stressed out wondering how much everything cost) was how old you look! I can't believe my little baby is getting so big! I am so grateful for you and the many wonderful ways you have changed and enriched my life. You and I had an excellent day together yesterday. All this week, rather than walking up to me and hitting me you've been coming up and giving me gentle caresses on my face. A mentor I had in graduate school once told me I was "a quick study"- I think about that from time to time and usually disagree with the observation. Well, I'm trying to be more positive lately, so maybe I am, because most definitely you are!

I am also grateful for a husband who is one of the best stay at home mom's I've ever known (not that I've known many), and who has excellent taste. There are not many women who can trust their husbands to go clothes shopping for the family, and in our case, I prefer that he does it all. The only downside to that is that there are not many moms who have to discuss haircuts, clothing choices, etc. with their husbands, but that's another story.... :)

I love you!
Mom

Quick Update

Hi Luthien,
Well, I don't have too much to share and we haven't taken the greatest pictures lately (forgot our camera on Thanksgiving and for other events), but I'll start with the pictures we do have.

Toward the middle of November we took a quick trip out to California for your Aunt Trisha's baby shower. I know, I know- I said I wouldn't do anymore of these trips with a baby/toddler in tow, but we really wanted to support Trisha and it was pretty much a free trip. Believe me, during the trip back I was second guessing my decision! Overall though, it was a lot of fun and you were a good girl. You had fun at the shower because there were lots of kids to play with and they even gave gifts out to all the little ones!

Here is a picture of you walking on the beach with dad. It was pretty cold, so instead of playing in the water or anywhere near wet sand (still not a texture you a enjoy), you wanted to chase the seagulls.

I don't know if you can see your expression very well in this one, but it looks as though you're courteously laughing at one of Grandad's jokes. I also just love the way you're sitting at the table- so grown up and relaxed.

This is a cool picture with your Aunt Stefanie's sister, Jenny. No photoshop used, just the sunset in all its' glory. It was a fun treat to be able to meet up with Jenny and drive her back to Arizona. She happened to be visiting California at the time, all the way from Switzerland. For the entire length of her trip (she stayed in AZ for a few weeks after that) you were totally confused by her, always thinking she was Stefanie.

Another note is that you now LOVE cars and trucks. You can say "car" and make the "vroom vroom" sound. I'm so glad we have stuck to our goal of presenting you with mostly non gender-biased toys. This actually is harder to do than one would think. I would still say that you like stuffed animals more, but at least the cars were given an equal chance!

Thanksgiving was nice- very relaxed because everyone brought a dish to share. It was much too hot, but has started cooling down since then, thank goodness! The best part was that mom started working part-time that week (down from full-time)! The extra days with you are priceless, but I am still learning the ropes. It's especially hard for me to let go of my desire for perfectionism as a mom, but more on that later...

The day after Thanksgiving we went to pick out a tree! You must know that in our 4 1/2 years of marriage we have never had a tree, so this was a big deal. The day went by all too quickly so we ended up actually putting up the tree after you went to sleep that night. I think that was actually best to do anyhow, since you are still so young. It was fun to see your reaction in the morning.

You have always been an early riser (around 6-6:30), much to your night owl parents' dismay, so it was actually still very dark when I captured this picture. You were so excited about all the lights:

We are very particular about the ornaments on the tree. Luckily, most are made of cloth and are therefore childproof. This was not done on purpose, we just have an obsession with the Anthropologie sweater ornaments and others similar in style. Please note Max, from Where the Wild Things Are....

We don't have a ton of ornaments because these Anthropologie ornaments don't come cheap. We wait until after Christmas to buy them, and we have decided to make this a family tradition from now on.

Mom is rather meticulous about how/where the ornaments are placed on the tree. So it has been an interesting learning curve for both of us- you learning not to pull off all the ornaments, and me trying not to care. Luckily being a mom in general doesn't allow for my natural tendency to freak out about this sort of thing- I've just got more important things to worry about!

Luthien, Mama loves you and is so proud of how much you're learning and growing every day. You learned many words at a young age, so you've only added a few new ones recently- such as car, apple, bubble, yeah, bear, owl, bed, light, star, popcorn, tree, happy, elbow, Bobba, Poppa, and a few more animal sounds. I'm trying to encourage you to put two words together but not pushing too much yet. I think right now you are learning a lot about your emotions, which has been hard on mom especially. This means lots of tears, along with a lot of laughter of course, as well as learning not to hit, bite, or steal. Mom thought she knew how she would discipline her children but it is proving much more difficult than she thought. I know this burst in your emotional development is a lot to handle, but we can get through it, especially with lots of love.

Until next time little one,

Mom